Yes, you. This is for you. You’ve been so hard to be with lately. What’s with you? Am I judging you or you are judging me? I’m just trying to understand you. Your brother is easier to be with. Why can’t you be more like him. Become — he’s so forgiving. Probably more forgetting. But you, you ask for a lot. Or am I the one asking? Let’s take a walk.

I can’t sit with you. I do anything to avoid you. I stir trouble just to keep myself away from you. I overwork to escape you. You know me. My mind is slippery. Reality is not a fact for me. It’s a question I can never ask. Asking it takes me out of reality. My mind is trippy. You should approach it with cautious. There’s something hidden in there. I’m trying to find it. Can you help me do it?

What is it about you I can’t accept. “Just be” is not the answer I can take. There should be more to it. Why can’t I see it.

For me, do is easier than be. I do things. Mostly for others. Just to be. Otherwise I can’t be me. Because what’s be without do. I won’t be useful to you. But it’s tiring. I just want to be. Will you make it enough for me?

Come sit next to me. Let’s see what I’ve been hiding. So we can be.

I’ve been waiting years to send you this letter. Oh our relationship is so complex. But it could be so easy. Are we playing?

I was born knowing I had you. But maybe I didn’t know much about you. I just knew we lived in a good neighborhood with a good house so I figured we must’ve had you. So I never thought about you. But then I suddenly lost you.

I was 11, in a refugee camp. My whole world flipped overnight. We were baking our own bread just to save you. Does that paint the picture for you? I remember walking by the cafes thinking people must be rich to sit there. That probably makes it clearer for you.

As I grew older, I wanted control. But without an ID, I couldn’t work. So I turned to the internet — coding, designing. Practiced every waking hour. And one day you came back.

First pay check I bought everyone gifts. Second pay check, I was already anxious. About to get deported.

In Malaysia, I started drinking daily. Mad at life, I took it out on you. Bottles and clubs daily.

Then years passed by. I went to back to Sweden to grew up. Business was booming. Got offices and grew the team. Just when I was about to take off, another deportation hit.

Thailand. Same pattern. I took my pain out on you. Bottles and clubs until sunlight. Borderline times.

Eventually I got us in order. Started a few more ventures. Slowly got aligned. Expanded to physical products, trying to leave the digital race behind.

Then life sent another omen. Got me on a one-way path to leave Thailand for good. Maybe I was getting too comfortable. You know the same story. Visa has always been my backstory.

It’s been a bit over 2 years since. Dubai is finally making me feel safe. This time, it took me everything to get over the edge. This time, things are different. This time, I can actually say I have you. Because I finally own you.

Until now, you lived in my business accounts. Sanctions and no permanent residency, governments and banks never let me keep you.

But now, I’ve got you. Just last year I made the most of you. Highest revenue and profit ever. I feel like Luck is smiling at us again.

Look I’ve learned my lessons. I’ve been disciplined with my work but emotional with you. I restricted myself in so many areas in my life so I could max it out on you. Excuses to overdo. I tried to live the life I missed, when I was making you. But now, I’m ready to change.

I want us to leave the past behind. Hit reset and restart. I want us to start a new life again.

I want us to feel safe and taken care of. Take out the extreme edges and get on a healthier pace. I want us to feel present.

I used to hate you but I’m now realizing you and I are one. So I’m starting to like you.

Okay, here it is. I promise to not get emotional with you. I promise to not take my pain out on you. I promise to be present and care for you.

Be patient with me.

I’m learning to live happy.

People have interests and hobbies. I have obsessions and depressions. It’s either up or down. In or out. No middle grounds. No time to waste.

Strangers see my high standards. Close friends witness my madness. It’s in the details, in my extreme focus. Hyper focus with high energy are my best friends. Not a choice — it’s hardwired. Whenever one dips below the other, the scale tip, and I fall off.

You are my secret, Passion. When I lose you, my anxiety spikes, to stay focused, I go numb. Repress all the emotions to stop the inner motion. Then all the work without the reward makes me psychotic.

I miss you. Let’s take a trip together. Find each other. See what life is really about.

Come find me.

Surprise me.

We started when I was still in the refugee camp. I was 20 when we first met. I knew you were my future.Remember what I used to say? One day you will be the key to my freedom. We spent all our awake time together until you could take your first steps.

Now look back, see how far we’ve come. Look how much you’ve grown and how old I’m becoming. The grey hair showing up around my head. Yet you don’t seem to have aged a bit. You are a teenager now, with all the fun ahead of you. I’m 35 and have been thinking about where the fun went.

We’ve been limiting ourselves for years to just create for others. It became a habit, and every time we wanted to begin ours, we created something for someone else. To tell you the truth, now that you are mature enough to hear it—I never really enjoyed it. It was always a means to an end, accompanied by anxiety along the way.

I think it’s time for us to create for ourselves. Design a place where we work on our dreams. Free of distractions and noise. Just us, our dreams, and its next iteration.

I named you OpenPurpose because you opened my life to find my purpose. Now let’s go and live it.

Freedom.

The more I listen to you, the smaller my life becomes. And the world keeps getting bigger, louder and scarier. We need to talk.

Listen, I remember what you’ve done for me. I’m not diminishing your value or what you meant to me. Remember when I was a child, and you taught me to be cautious? You kept me safe. Made me wiser. You taught me to observe — more than others. Now I notice everything because of you. All the hidden details. All the time.

But look, I’m a grown man now. And I’m losing my patience with you. It’s not just lately — it’s been years. I feel like I’m missing out on my life. And I believe the reason is you. Life passing me by too fast. I can’t let you lead me anymore.

Maybe it’s time for us to take a break. Create some space between us so we can find ourselves. Then we can come back together in balance.

But for now, I want you to leave.

It’s time for me to lead.

I’ve been looking for you. Where did I lose you? We were just by the playground. I’ve been thinking about you. What did I do?

Remember the days we running around, never thinking about where to? Looking at the sky, fantasising about the clouds. Playing without thinking. Being without judging.

Now I’m an adult, trapped by responsibilities. Showing up everyday, without thinking. Acting without living.

I know what’s right to do. But I’ve forgotten what’s right for you. I’ve learned what I am to others. But I’ve lost what I’m to you.

I’m looking for you.

Hey - you know I care for you, right? More than I do for myself, you know that right? At times, I think you don’t see my love for you, do you feel that right?

I keep telling you I’ve got my faith in you. Let me show you what future may hold for you. Yet you tell me to let go. I ask you to hold on for a bit longer, you are almost there, yet you tell me surrender. Why do you fight me on what’s good for you? I don’t understand you.

Listen, I’ve been hurt too many times before, let me spare you of the pain. Too many obstacles ahead, let me help you jump ahead. Let me save you from the heartbreaks so you can save your energy for the life you’ve yet to experience. All I want for you is to avoid what I’ve felt. Why don’t you understand?

Maybe you are right. Maybe it’s time for me to surrender. Maybe all I have to do is to feel the pain I avoided for so long. So I can walk next to you as you experience it too.

I surrender for you.

Sending you this letter to let you know that you’ve been on my mind more than ever, Tomorrow. Everyday I wake up wondering how I will feel when I finally meet you, Tomorrow.

You see, I’ve been spending too much time with Yesterday. And let me tell you — I'm so done with Yesterday. It just talks too much about Yesterday. Some days Yesterday is so happy and other days Yesterday is so sad. Yesterday is always so unstable, Tomorrow. I can't trust Yesterday, Tomorrow. Yesterday always changes its mind, Tomorrow. Sure it introduced me to Today. And sure, I’m with Today now but my mind is with you, Tomorrow.

Because Today could never be like you, Tomorrow. Today is just so everyday, Tomorrow. Today always makes promises but never follows through, Tomorrow. I'm so done waiting for Today to change, Tomorrow. But you are so different, Tomorrow. Imagine the possibilities, Tomorrow. We could have so much fun, Tomorrow. The dreams we could live together, Tomorrow. We could be exactly like we always dreamed about, Tomorrow.

Do you think about me too, Tomorrow?

My mind has turned into a mud.
So many thoughts are circling around,
none are finding a way out.

It’s time to set them free.

This is a letter.
First of its kind.

Its purpose is to tell you a story. A true story told through words, images, sounds and objects.

It aims to paint you a picture.
One that you can picture yourself in.

This is a letter.
First of its kind.

Sent to you.
From Blank.

This is to set us free.
Expect my letter soon.